3 x 3

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?" "274" was his reply.

The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday", replies the second man.

The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine", says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that"?

"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

Windy Thursday beer

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

Where is my toast?

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them rememberLater that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?''Sure.''Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.'No, I can remember it.''Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. ''I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.'Where's my toast ?'

Rose

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?You know... The one that's red and has thorns.''Do you mean a rose?''Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Newborn

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Rodger, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Rodger says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.''Really!? Like a newborn baby!?''Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

12:30

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.''Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?''Twelve thirty.'